Thursday, December 5, 2013

180 Degree Turn

Though it has been a couple of months since we’ve last blogged, we have so much exciting news to report back to you! Starting off, we are conference champs and won the Horizon League this season! Can you say 180 degree turn? (“Started… started… started from the bottom now we’re here!” It’s a hip song for all you older folks).

But this drastic change didn’t happen overnight. We have done countless 6 a.m. workouts over the summer and many open gyms. It wasn’t easy, but all the hard work paid off. Let's just say we weren’t satisfied with how last year ended.

Susie’s quote of the week was “Poetic Justice,” which means that we get a “re-do” with both teams that we had lost to during league play. We had our chance against Cleveland after an unfortunate loss the second time around (but for God sakes that match took forever because after every point they lost they cried out for a towel to clean up the imaginary sweat on the floor.) We also got another chance against Valpo for the championship match and were able to come out and defeated them as well.

We worked so hard as a team and always have each other’s backs, even if that means getting a yellow card. But hey, if that means getting into the NCAA, we’re okay with that. It was announced that we play the Badgers in the First Round of the NCAA Tournament on Friday, Dec. 7 @ 7:00 p.m. So come out (wear yellow!!!!) and cheer us on! We need you to help us defeat the sea of red!

May, Tay, Hay

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Slippery Gyms And Drastic Temperatures

It was a weekend of slippery gyms and very drastic temperatures. Derek, our loyal bus driver, awaited us at the K-Dome (a little late I might add), but never the less he got down to business and hauled us down to UIC where Antarctica awaited us. We walked in and instantly needed our winter coats that we have tucked away all summer.

After a little shaky warm-up (maybe because we couldn’t get warm??) we got right to business. Rachel was completely unstoppable against a younger UIC team, who might have wished they didn’t sign the contract to play Sivision 1 volleyball against this all-American. Needless to say, we got right to business and hit the road before UIC even knew they had a match to play.

Upon arrival of our hotel, we engulfed Jason’s Deli and insisted on watching The Little Mermaid, where Kevin O’Connor, the only male on our staff, tweeted, #MoviesIWontSeeWithMensBasketball. Who would have thunk? After an inspiring team sing along to “Under the Sea” we headed right to bed.

After getting our full nine hours of beauty sleep (maybe some more) we crawled out of bed to breakfast. We cleaned out the whole state of Indiana of oatmeal because all 15 of us gladly enjoy some porridge. Our coaches surprised us with their brilliant wardrobe. This wasn’t any old ‘pajamas’. Susie, the queen bee of fashion, came to breakfast in pants that didn’t have an Adidas logo but instead some peacocks, and were a few inches too short. She must have thought a flood was coming. Nikki, on the other hand, came to breakfast in complete athletic attire while strutting her dress shoes. Don’t worry you two, you can’t win them all ☺

We headed to our favorite pre-meal (or any meal for that fact) destination: Portillo’s. While most of us ordered salads the first time around, we knew we’d be back if we won for a winning dessert. We soon departed to Valpo, where the Sahara desert awaited us. The gyms this weekend couldn’t find a happy medium. Not only that, but Valpo shoved us in their gas chamber – aka the football locker room. Our parents should be happy they had girls because this locker room smelled like onions, sweat and dirty footballs.

Lo and behold, that didn’t stop us. We absolutely dominated the first set, at a record breaking 25-5 as the final score. Although Valpo’s game plan must have been to invite us to play on an ice-skating rink, the slippery floors didn’t stop us. We got right down to business and stole the next two sets. Right when we got into the locker room, Susie informed us that Portillo’s was in our future. Nothing is better news that a word that starts with P and rhymes with amarillo’s.

When we arrived back at Portillo’s, the staff recognized us and welcomed us back with wide-open arms. This time we ordered chocolate cake shakes. If you have not eaten one, you have not lived. Please add the chocolate cake shake to your bucket list; you won’t be disappointed. The bus ride ended with some Great Gatsby and our sexy man Leonardy DiCrap-yo (Leonardo DiCaprio – we’re a little tired).

As of this weekend, we are now the only undefeated team in the Ho League. We take on green phoenix (I’m glad we’re the panthers) next Friday at 7 o’clock sharp. Be there or be square, because quite frankly we’re planning on doing some instate rival damage.

Catch ya on the flip side,
May, Tay & Han

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


Hello there!

We are sorry for the tardiness on this week’s blog, but we are here again to tell you the funny shenanigans and latest updates on our team.

Preseason is now over with and we have officially started conference. Preseason was a helpful experience for us, it has made us hungry (in the sense for wins not food) for the rest of our season and we can prove that to you by our 2-0 record right now in conference. Though as Susie stated in a game in preseason, “It looks like we have ants in our pants!” (which we clearly did not, but may have seemed like it at times), we were all excited to be playing top ranked teams like Florida.

Our first home game this fall was against Iowa and that was an intense match! You can always tell when it was a close match when the next day Susie shows up to practice with no shoes on (barefoot may I remind you) complaining how bad her feet hurt from stomping so hard on the floor during each play. I feel as if every time she stomps the floor with as much force as she does she either breaks her calcaneus bone or breaks off her heal…I guess that would explain why she has so many difference pairs of shoes. I don’t think I have ever seen that woman wear the same pair of shoes, might I add.

OUR CONFERENCE GAMES HAVE FINALLY STARTED!!! And we couldn’t be happier to finally be showing these teams how much we have developed.

This upcoming weekend we have UIC and Valpo in Illinois (the land of people who know how to drive—coming from Maisey, and the land of people who have no idea how to even stay in between two lines, better yet use a signal—coming from every Wisconsinite).

As for now, take care and enjoy the rest of your week!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Another Road Trip

Hello fellow readers-

Another road trip friends. This time it wasn’t eight hours away, it was just a hop, skip, and a jump over to Madison. As much as we love going there, we really don’t like them. So it was a win-lose situation. The journey started with a filling meal of Jimmy Johns. WE LOVE JIMMY JOHNS, and we must say they have the best pickles in town. Maisey insisted on grabbing “Massie’s” sub, and realized it wasn’t hers because of the lack of hot peppers. A couple bites later, she realized that “Massie’s” sub was really Maggie’s sub, and Maggie was stuck with half a sub.

To our surprise, they re-did the field house floor. Lucky for us, we didn’t have to play with spiders, flies, and cockroaches. One of our opponents this weekend was Bowling Orange… well they should have been Bowling Orange. They were actually Bowling Green, but wore hunting orange colored jerseys. Confusing right? We didn’t let that stop us, we stuck to the ‘game plan’ (don’t ask us what it is because we can’t reveal our secrets) and swept them in three. Wait, don’t let me forget. Maisey punched Taylor on the court, in the middle of a play. Let me explain… There was a chaos play, and Maisey and Taylor were going for the same ball. A little miscommunication if you ask me. Before either of them touched the ball, Maisey threw a fist at Taylor and continued to dig the ball. Good for Maisey for getting the ball up, sad for Taylor because she thought she lost all her teeth. A little blood and a couple fat lips later, we were back in action.

We always play in Madison around Juicy J’s (Julie’s) birthday. Amber volunteered as tribute and continued the birthday dance tradition. Sadly, we don’t have pictures to tell the story this time, lets just say there was a lot of ‘pop, lock and drop it’ moves.

We also played Iowa on Tuesday night for our first home game. The fans were AMAZING! The atmosphere was crazy and we can’t thank you enough. While this game didn’t go as planned, Coach Susie was able to show off her ‘stomping’ skills. If we aren’t playing to our potential, Susie expresses her frustration by stomping her feet. She doesn’t wear any old shoes; she’s always wears very fashionable heels. The next day at practice we asked her why she wasn’t wearing any shoes. She said, “My feet hurt too bad”. Sorry Coach, we’ll play better next time.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Victory Ice Cream

Well, we headed back to another city that ended in some kind of ‘oooo.’ Last weekend, Kalamazoo. This weekend it was home of the ‘Roos.’ Interesting places they send us I tell ya.

Our linebacker of a bus driver, Derek, awaited us on Coach express. Susie asked if he wanted to put on a uniform and play with us due to his intimidating size. He politely declined. To occupy ourselves from the colorful cornfields that sat outside our window, the team decided to watch a scary movie. Half couldn’t watch due to the horrific scenes on the film and half were totally into it Bad idea because some of us could not fall asleep that night. Next time, we’ll choose a lighter film (Little Rascals??).

We took a pit stop at Schlotzsky’s Deli, where the entire staff (about two people) could have cried when they saw the bus pull up. We tend to have that effect on people. One hour and some skimpy sandwiches later, we rolled out again with our boy Derek and headed to the land of Lebron.

Friday, we played two teams that rocked purple Barney-looking jerseys. Thank goodness we wear black and gold because those jerseys weren’t too flattering. We defeated the Purple Eagles (do those animals exist?) in three, and also the Golden Eagles (which wore purple not gold) in four. Don’t let me forget about our pre-game ritual. Miss Amber enlightens us with a good solo of Treasure by Bruno Mars and struts some pretty sick dance moves. I think a picture is necessary.

It was such a successful day, our coaches treated us to the very healthy McDonald’s, for a rewarding ice cream treat. We rolled up and we were drooling everywhere. It had been such a long time that we have had ‘victory ice cream’ due to the insignificant amount of wins last season, if you know what I mean. Ice cream always tastes better when you win.

After the sweet ice cream, our conversation went to the next level. It was a heated argument about how short girls are able to date men of any height, but tall girls are able to reach the peanut butter jar on the top shelf. You decide what’s better.

Saturday we sealed the deal. We took on the Akron Zips. For all of you that don’t know what a ‘Zip’ is, it’s a kangaroo. While their plan must have been to jump on us like a roo, we turned that around in their own gym. Our blocking and defense turned it up, which ultimately helped win our first tournament championship of the season. We couldn’t have done it without Hannah and her motivational phrases, such as ‘swiiiiiiiing for the hills’ and ‘Guys, side out. Side out guys’. We won in four and got out of there as fast as possible. Akron gratefully treated us to a nifty coffee mug that we will so desperately need due to the early AM workouts.

A huge shout out to Taylor Gruber for stepping in for our concussed friend KP5 (Kayla) and playing flawlessly. Congratulations to Taylor Golabowski and Nicole Latzig for making the All-Tournament Team, and also Rachel Neuberger for clinching MVP of the tournament. Get ready for next weekend when we take on our in-state rivals Madison, where we also play Bowling Green and Kansas.

Catch you on the flip side,
Han, May & Tay

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Blondtourage Takes Over In 2013

Hello fans-

You have yourselves new authors for the volley blog! The Blondtourage (aka the blonde version of Entourage) is here to enlighten you with some exciting events from our first road trip of our 2013 campaign.

It all started with looms. We love looming. Let us explain. It’s a little something along the lines of rubber bands intertwined with other rubber bands to magically create a bracelet. Some think that we’re too old for this, but hey, it keeps us entertained. Kayla, Maisey, Maddie, and Myanna (who chooses not to loom publicly for fear of not seeming ‘cool’) are all master loomers. Call them if you wish to pursue your dream of becoming a master loomer.

On the way to the Zoo, Kalamazoo that is, we watched a very inspirational movie, some shed a couple tears (Hannah). It’s actually called “Survive and Advance” if y’all need something to watch, we highly recommend it. Lets get to the food part, because as competitive volleyballers, we are professional eaters. We stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings, where it was $.60 wings, BINGO! Despite having to wait what seemed like decades because all of us could have eaten a cow (really hungry), it was definitely worth the wait. Another highly-recommended area to explore. After we wiped our faces and washed our paws, we all undid one button and got back to our wonderful bus, thank god for the bathroom in the back.

Now the serious part - a very rowdy game of catch phrase. Seniors and juniors vs. the little squirts (sophomores and freshmen). It’s basically charades (for you old folks out there). You are able to describe the word without saying the actual word. Our bus driver must have hated us, because we could have shattered the windows with how loud we were screaming. We might be a little too competitive, if there is such a thing.

Here’s a prime example of a freshman mistake. Our freshman middle, Kaisa, may I add she is from Minnesota (say a prayer for her), had the word cheese. Anyone from Wisconsin would be honored to describe such a perfect word. The way our Minnesota friend described cheese was ‘spoiled milk, and also curdled milk”. Sammi thought it was sour cream (Birthplace: Illinois) Sad to say, we didn’t guess cheese. Better luck next time.

As we arrived at the hotel, our crib-size beds awaited us. But really, Taylor’s feet were hanging off the bed and she is one of the shortest people on the team. But hey, some great cuddling went on, team bonding right? From there we had a pretty intense pool workout - we could have been mistaken for a college synchronized swimming team. Once we got out, the hotel supplied us with what seemed like face towels to dry off our bodies - they must have been on a budget.

Big Apple Bagels awaited us in the AM, a delicious supercharged energy food for our first preseason game of the year. While we didn’t perform as well as we wanted to against Oklahoma, we finally got all the jitters out for our matches against Western Michigan and Northwestern on Saturday. While those matches didn’t go as planed either, we put up a big fight taking both teams to five. A big shout-out to the three freshmen who took on big roles, but didn’t seem like rookies. Another huge shout-out to our fellow friend KP5 (Kayla) for doing wonders once again and making the all-tournament team.

Despite the losses, it was great weekend. We improved a lot and can’t wait to get back into the gym. We will miss the team meals, and will have to fend for ourselves again. We’re excited for next weekend at Akron!

Stay tuned folks,
Han, May & Tay

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Duke Weekend

Before we start from the beginning, let us start before the beginning. (The most important part of this blog). If you haven’t seen our senior picture that is on the website and in the media guide, it is highly recommended that you look at it. It is one of those pictures that you just never want to stop looking at. Feel free to print it and carry it around with you everyday. If you are really feeling crazy, put it by your mirror, so you can strive to be that good-looking. It makes us wonder if there is anything more to life than being “really, really ridiculously good looking?”(Derek Zoolander)

Now we can start from the beginning - where it all starts. We have been in preseason for the last three weeks, so it has been interesting for all of us to try and get our skills back to their peaks. This Thursday, we departed Milwaukee to go to North Carolina to play at Duke for a tournament. When we got on our plane, we realized quickly that our duffle bags (that could fit large children) weren’t all going to fit inside of the overhead compartments. Because of this, some of us gave our bags to the flight attendants for them to check, which caused Susie to freak out for the remainder of the day that they would be lost. Turns out they made it safe and sound to North Carolina and Susie was fully dressed all weekend 

When we got to the hotel we had to do a pool “work-out” with trainer Will. Will has never previously worked with a group of girls. He realized quickly that we weren’t just any girls, but we are obnoxious girls who also struggle with bodily functions and listening during pool “work-outs.” The pool was cold and lots of the girls were being little wussies. Rachel and Biz did not like this and proceeded to canon ball into the pool giving the coaches a splash. Biz then saw an opportunity, and splashed everyone until they stopped crying like babies. Kayla and Amber FREAKED out. Apparently it is “frowned upon” to splash someone before they have a shower cap on their hair…. Who knew? The rest of the work out seemed to be going according to plan, though it took a while for Will to get us to stop blabbing on about nothing and listen up. For our last part of the work out we were supposed to race each other (sprinting in the water, not swimming) from the 3-foot area to the 5-foot area. Well we all participated, but there was plenty of hair pulling and pushing over in the process. Turns out that the 5-foot area was just a little bit too deep for some people and there was a near death experience this day. Amber started yelling and flailing her arms like she was about to die, but most of us were too busy laughing at her thinking that she was joking. She wasn’t. She cannot swim. Anna had to carry her into the shallow end again (I’m a hero). Sammi, a freshman, asked Amber while being extremely concerned “Can you not swim?” and Amber responded by yelling back, “NO I CANT SWIM! I’M BLACK.” She can be so stereotypical.

The next day we had our pregame meal at Champs, because last time we ate there we won, so we decided to be champs again. Superstition. No we aren’t superstitious at all. Well, sometimes… The food was delicious and they were playing great music, so Biz responded to this by yell-singing the song. Yell-singing is a form of singing that takes place while you are yelling. Apparently yelling in a restaurant classifies us as “obnoxious.” Typical.

That night we played Fairfield and won in 4!

The next day we played William and Mary and won in 4!

The night after our second win, we lost in 3 to Duke. We played absolutely terrible our first two games of it, but came back and really did well the third game. In our defense …. these girls could easily have been mistaken as the Incredible Hulk (except not green) or a forest (except in spandex … and not brown ...)

All in all it was a great first weekend!

RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. The poison. The poison especially designed to kill Kuzko. Kuzko’s poison. That poison?

Biz and Anna aka Aniz aka Banna

WAIIIITTTTTTT don’t stop reading! We aren’t quite finished… Well we thought we finished this blog on the plane, but it turns out layovers can have a lot of action happen. As we were hustling to concourse D, we caught a train over from concourse C. All of us got onto it and there was still plenty of time, but low and behold outside the doors stood Maisey. Nervous and thinking the closing doors would close on her, she remained outside, paralyzed with fear. As we zoomed away, we watched as Maisey disappeared into the darkness, convinced we would never see her again. As we all hussled out of the train at our stop at concourse D, almost the whole team began to call and text Maisey. After not seeing her get out at the next stop a few minutes later, panic trickled into everyone’s eyes. We clearly didn’t have much confidence in her problem-solving skills … she (almost) proved us wrong! Minutes later we saw her walking toward us from the opposite direction. Apparently she had found Kevin, and they both made it to the gate. It was a happy ending.